Being a father is for me, almost indescribable. The great honor that God gave me that he would entrust to me as protector, counselor, provider and model for his presence in the lives of the most precious and perfect children he's ever made (I'm biased) is as clear a declaration of his eternal and perfect love for me as anything ever could be. Not a single day goes by when I don't thank him for my babies. He's even added to my brood some new creatures, as I call them i.e. grand babies that seem to think they are Power Rangers and their Oji-San (me) is some kind of super villain that they have to figure out a way to subdue with their really not so good kung fu moves. Please Lord, hurry and send me a granddaughter! But I digress.
Like all good fathers, God gave me a father's heart. I love my kiddos so much that they hardly even recognize it when I'm being tough on them, but we still get the desired results. My hope is that even when I am guiding and correcting, all they feel is the love. My sisters would likely tell you that I'm just a big old pushover, especially when it comes to my daughters and to be honest, there is some merit to that. I admit that there are times when I'm mostly helpless against them, especially when they play the Daddy Duties card. My girls and my dude, they are fantastic people, and though they have access to everything I have and own, they don't really ask for much, so when they do ask I enjoy going out of my way to do all that I can to give them what I can. They deserve it and much more.
So, when my youngest daughter asked me to make some crab cakes and bring them down to her when I visited her on campus, she was invoking her Daddy Duties Rights and let me tell you, she got them crabby patties (as we tend to call them)
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| Our crab cake recipe starts with diced red and yellow bell peppers seasoned with smoked paprika and a little Old Bay saute'd in butter. Wet and dry ingredients include dry and prepared mustard, mayonnaise, eggs, more Old Bay, dry parsley flakes, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and fresh lemon juice. |
I don't think I told anyone but her aunt Monica, but I had a pretty hard time with my youngest daughter moving away from home to go to college. My eldest did her collegiate thing at a university here in town and so my access to her wasn't really interrupted in the same way as with the baby girl. Let me tell you, I struggled. I don't tell her this, but I think she knows it. I thank God that she chose a university that was relatively close to home though cause had she moved out of state....! I know. I know.
Let go already, right? Nope. Ain't happening. My children may as well accept it and I think that they mostly have, but one simple truth they will experience regarding their Dad aside from I love Jesus and I love them is that I'm going be in their lives in an imminent, Daddy kind of way until the day I die. And unlike my dear grandmother Betty Jean Clark (may she rest in heaven forever) did to me, I'm not going cut them off from my cooking when I get old and tired of feeding folks! Of course she was well within her rights to do so but man, I missed and do miss my grandmother's phenomenal cooking. Not simply because of how good it was, but because of how it connected us together and how it could only come from her. To this very day without fail, every single time I see, smell or taste cornbread dressing, I think of my grandmother Betty Jean and my mother Sandra who took the recipe and blew it away!
I want my children to feel and remember forever how loved they are and were by their Dad through vehicles that will outlive me in their lives. Not just memories, but sensory objects that take them backwards in time. Like when Ty was 4-years old and I stood her in a chair so that she could learn to cook cheese eggs like the ones she loved at Waffle House. Or when my son told me he wanted to learn to cook shrimp and grits and I showed up one day out of the blue with all of the ingredients and he had to do all of the cooking as I stood there and fed him instructions. He NAILED it, by the way.
Here are all of the ingredient amounts:
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| Mix all of the wet and dry ingredients into a bowl and set aside while you pick the shell fragments out of at least a pound of lump crab meat. |
Let go already, right? Nope. Ain't happening. My children may as well accept it and I think that they mostly have, but one simple truth they will experience regarding their Dad aside from I love Jesus and I love them is that I'm going be in their lives in an imminent, Daddy kind of way until the day I die. And unlike my dear grandmother Betty Jean Clark (may she rest in heaven forever) did to me, I'm not going cut them off from my cooking when I get old and tired of feeding folks! Of course she was well within her rights to do so but man, I missed and do miss my grandmother's phenomenal cooking. Not simply because of how good it was, but because of how it connected us together and how it could only come from her. To this very day without fail, every single time I see, smell or taste cornbread dressing, I think of my grandmother Betty Jean and my mother Sandra who took the recipe and blew it away!
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| Add the cooled peppers, the wet & dry ingredients mix and some panko bread crumbs to the lump crab and gently fold them in, taking care to mix them without breaking the lumps, then let sit in the fridge to set up for an hour or so. |
I want my children to feel and remember forever how loved they are and were by their Dad through vehicles that will outlive me in their lives. Not just memories, but sensory objects that take them backwards in time. Like when Ty was 4-years old and I stood her in a chair so that she could learn to cook cheese eggs like the ones she loved at Waffle House. Or when my son told me he wanted to learn to cook shrimp and grits and I showed up one day out of the blue with all of the ingredients and he had to do all of the cooking as I stood there and fed him instructions. He NAILED it, by the way.
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| Form the cakes up into patties and coat each side lightly with more panko bread crumbs then fry in butter over medium heat until golden brown on both sides. |
Here are all of the ingredient amounts:
Sauté half a red and half a yellow bell pepper in butter with some smoked paprika and Old Bay seasoning. 1 Heaping Table spoon good Mayo, 1 regular table spoon mustard, 1 egg (two if they are small) 2 table spoons Old Bay seasoning, 1/2 fresh lemon juice, 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce, half teaspoon dry mustard, 1/8 cup of FRESH parsley chopped fine or a heaping tablespoon of dry parsley flakes, a few shots of your favorite hot sauce, 1 half cup of panko bread crumbs. I also coat the outside of each crab cake with panko crumbs before I fry them in butter!
On this journey of discovery and introspection about what constitutes Soul Food and what Soul Food means by way of import and impact to me and others that love it, I've come to agree that part of what makes it "Soul Food" is the heart with which it is prepared. Me, I have a Dad's heart that I put into every meal that I prepare for my loved ones, especially my babies and creatures. Does this mean that it's possible that every meal can be Soul Food? Could be. If you put your soul into it.
Kev
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